I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
