so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
