no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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