its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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