Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
