It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
