If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
