apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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