just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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