I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
