he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
