there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
