I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
