Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
