I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He passed out mid-signature
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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