Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
