I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
