His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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