Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
