her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
