i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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