shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
