Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
