ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
