i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
