you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
