i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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