i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
