Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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