I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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