I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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