I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
