thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
