The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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