Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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