Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
