Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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