i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
