I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
