you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
