I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
