i may or may not be watching the land before time
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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