garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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