it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize