You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
