That's intense
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
