and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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