Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
