He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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