WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The feeling are messing with the penis
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
