Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm always down for nudity.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
